1/18/15
Revised 2/9/15
Why do I write?
This is such a broad, loaded question with so many truthful answers, that I am uncertain I will ever be able to pin down concrete reasons for my writing compulsion and efforts. Or, at least, I won’t be able to do so in a way that makes me nod and go, “Yes. I’ve done it. There it is. Bam. So concise. Wow,” as I might wish to do. I considered responding with an enthusiastic shrug, but, instead, I brainstormed a variety of reasons that built on other writers’ responses (namely Joan Didion and George Orwell). Looking at that list that I compiled, I found three general categories to lump answers into. The final reasons below are not some telling master list that explains who I am and why I do the things I do (I am no expert on myself), but rather a sampling into the prevalent driving motivators in my life when it comes to writing.
Because writing can explain the past.In senior year in high school, we read a book called Waterland that, through a complicated retelling of the narrator’s childhood and ancestry, shows how history is, in essence, storytelling. It explains that while the stories of our lives are tangled, we can still find explanations for aspects of our lives in those stories. This idea resonated deeply with me-- it was one of those rare moments where I felt my jaw drop with how explosively true yet obvious something was.
Since then, I’ve come to see just how compelling stories are. Narratives drive humanity. Everyone has stories and sharing them with each other and making new ones is the number one way, in my eyes, for bonds between people to form. So, knowing this, it sometimes feels like it’s my job to tell these stories. If someone doesn’t record these stories, or record these fleeting ideas, then they’re lost forever and that’s a tragedy. To write these stories is an act of preservation; through writers, the past is no longer lost.
Because it can make a difference in the present.Even though I’m writing in part so that my pieces can become a part of the eventual legacy of my story and the histories unfolding around me, I do also write with the full comprehension that I write in the present. A very specific present, too; the 21st century, in which the things that I think and imagine can be shared right now, in real time, with the entirety of the internet-- billions of people.
Knowing this, it only makes sense that I would currently spend quite a bit of my time trying to persuade others. Most of the time, it centers on my friends and discussing politics and current events, but I won’t undervalue the reach that changing the attitudes of a few can have on a culture as a whole.
Here is an excerpt from a long conversation I had with friends on Facebook after the Grand Jury decision in Ferguson was announced. Sharing my view and entering a dialogue about one of the most troubling and prevalent issues of our current society is one of the most productive types of writing I could be participating in at the moment. Saying things that matter in a way that is open to learning, teaching, and exploring difficult topics is definitely a large reason why I write.
In the same way, when it comes to saying things that matter, writing in a socially conscious way can create a great platform for starting discussions or impacting culture and the way that those outside of the Norm are seen in culture.
I have a great deal of privilege in society and, in realizing this, I’d like to harness that power to improve situations for others. The goal of putting my writing to work for organizations that are making a difference in our culture or the everyday lives of those that need help is certainly a reason I write. I can even do it in the fiction I write, though. Exploring stories that are often ignored in our pop culture is, in my eyes, one of the most important things I could ever do with my writing. Telling the story of the deaf latino kid in North Dakota or the genderfluid teenager living on the outskirts of Washington D.C. could be one of the greatest undertakings I ever attempt in my lifetime.
Because I dream of a specific future.With this noble-sounding underlying motive in mind, I want to point out that, while I write very much for others, to give voices to those that have none, I cannot put myself on a pedestal and pretend that my writing is without any selfish or self-centered goals:
There is a certain knack to storytelling; the kind where people hang on your words and prompt you to continue when you get distracted. For some, this is natural; knowing where to pause in a moment within the story to build tension or milk the humor, how to build background knowledge for an audience without losing steam, how to make someone feel something, and I would say (this is certainly up for debate) that I am one of those people.
I’m really good at telling stories. I’m not going to downplay that. Everyone has a talent, and storytelling is mine. I love bringing enjoyment to others through what I write. I love it. I’m addicted to the feeling I get when I see someone laugh out loud while reading a piece of mine. It’s like an affirmation of not only my ability as a writer, but also in the fact that I am a human being whose words can touch and brighten the things around them. That’s pretty special.
Plus, I write in large part because I love attention. Like, a lot.
I enjoy telling stories not only because it can change minds and drive humanity forward, but also because I like feeling accomplished and then bringing that to others to keep it going. So sue me. I just love preening while others compliment me.
Like, look at this ridiculous person.
I had two small publications last year and the first thing I did with either was take them to Facebook to brag. I had a great time both nights, checking in every half hour or so as the “likes” and congratulations rolled in.
In my eyes, there is nothing wrong with that. Facebook is a platform made for sharing accomplishments with those in your life. Where it differs from simply taking my successes to friends and family members when things go right though, is that hearing this positive feedback is a huge motivator for me.
Here is a good example of this: this (heavily edited) screenshot is from the (highly embarrassing) fanfiction account I kept in middle school. While I never want to think too hard about this portion of my pubescent life, I can’t deny that it was one of the most affirming times in my life when it came to writing.
See that circled number? There are 692 reviews on a single story that I penned at 14. It is the longest thing I have ever written to date and the hundreds of encouraging bits of feedback I received on it kept me writing for months. While I had started writing these pieces as an outlet for fantasies that I couldn’t live out in my own life, the reviews and acclaim the fellow fans gave me pushed me on and convinced me not to drop the project halfway through; I lived for those reviews.
However…
While those reviews and Facebook comments and the positive reactions from people I share my work with are incredibly gratifying, I do still keep myself writing more private things while dreaming about the future; for me and anyone I effect.
I don’t just want talk show interviews and NPR plugs; I want to affect readers on a personal level. I dream of writing lines that make someone put down what they’re reading and walk away for a minute because they can’t believe someone said something so perfectly and they have to go digest it some and tweet it and plan a new tattoo around the words. I want to put things in a way that readers wish they’d put the same thought into the same words in exactly the same way because it was just that good.
Just as the authors I grew up with left stamps on my mind and heart, I want to do the same for future readers. I hope that someday the things that I can share with others can become their lifelines the way that books were for me when I was younger.
I would be even happier if I could also be someone’s foothold to a larger stage. Being a mediator for the marginalized is a powerful prospect. Writing is a powerful gift that was meant to be shared and used for the betterment of others. The idea that I can have an impact and make a difference on an individual or society itself keeps me writing.
If I play my cards right, this could not only be my legacy, but also others’-- recording narratives of our age that are relatable and timeless and important is what I have set out to do; because what are stories but history, in the long run.
So, what? What are you even getting at?I made an interesting typo while titling this document; rather than writing, “Why I Write,” as I had intended, it became “Why I Wrote,” and I had to stop and think about that for a moment. Had I gone with the latter of these two tenses, would the content have been different? I thought about that a lot as I wrote this piece, the ways that my motivations have changed over the years, but in the end I suppose it didn’t matter.
I write because of what I have experienced. I write because of what I want. I write because of what I can imagine.
Writing, for me, is about the past, present, and, most importantly, the future. While stories are made of and become history itself, the act of writing, for me, is one that looks forward.
Revised 2/9/15
Why do I write?
This is such a broad, loaded question with so many truthful answers, that I am uncertain I will ever be able to pin down concrete reasons for my writing compulsion and efforts. Or, at least, I won’t be able to do so in a way that makes me nod and go, “Yes. I’ve done it. There it is. Bam. So concise. Wow,” as I might wish to do. I considered responding with an enthusiastic shrug, but, instead, I brainstormed a variety of reasons that built on other writers’ responses (namely Joan Didion and George Orwell). Looking at that list that I compiled, I found three general categories to lump answers into. The final reasons below are not some telling master list that explains who I am and why I do the things I do (I am no expert on myself), but rather a sampling into the prevalent driving motivators in my life when it comes to writing.
Because writing can explain the past.In senior year in high school, we read a book called Waterland that, through a complicated retelling of the narrator’s childhood and ancestry, shows how history is, in essence, storytelling. It explains that while the stories of our lives are tangled, we can still find explanations for aspects of our lives in those stories. This idea resonated deeply with me-- it was one of those rare moments where I felt my jaw drop with how explosively true yet obvious something was.
Since then, I’ve come to see just how compelling stories are. Narratives drive humanity. Everyone has stories and sharing them with each other and making new ones is the number one way, in my eyes, for bonds between people to form. So, knowing this, it sometimes feels like it’s my job to tell these stories. If someone doesn’t record these stories, or record these fleeting ideas, then they’re lost forever and that’s a tragedy. To write these stories is an act of preservation; through writers, the past is no longer lost.
Because it can make a difference in the present.Even though I’m writing in part so that my pieces can become a part of the eventual legacy of my story and the histories unfolding around me, I do also write with the full comprehension that I write in the present. A very specific present, too; the 21st century, in which the things that I think and imagine can be shared right now, in real time, with the entirety of the internet-- billions of people.
Knowing this, it only makes sense that I would currently spend quite a bit of my time trying to persuade others. Most of the time, it centers on my friends and discussing politics and current events, but I won’t undervalue the reach that changing the attitudes of a few can have on a culture as a whole.
Here is an excerpt from a long conversation I had with friends on Facebook after the Grand Jury decision in Ferguson was announced. Sharing my view and entering a dialogue about one of the most troubling and prevalent issues of our current society is one of the most productive types of writing I could be participating in at the moment. Saying things that matter in a way that is open to learning, teaching, and exploring difficult topics is definitely a large reason why I write.
In the same way, when it comes to saying things that matter, writing in a socially conscious way can create a great platform for starting discussions or impacting culture and the way that those outside of the Norm are seen in culture.
I have a great deal of privilege in society and, in realizing this, I’d like to harness that power to improve situations for others. The goal of putting my writing to work for organizations that are making a difference in our culture or the everyday lives of those that need help is certainly a reason I write. I can even do it in the fiction I write, though. Exploring stories that are often ignored in our pop culture is, in my eyes, one of the most important things I could ever do with my writing. Telling the story of the deaf latino kid in North Dakota or the genderfluid teenager living on the outskirts of Washington D.C. could be one of the greatest undertakings I ever attempt in my lifetime.
Because I dream of a specific future.With this noble-sounding underlying motive in mind, I want to point out that, while I write very much for others, to give voices to those that have none, I cannot put myself on a pedestal and pretend that my writing is without any selfish or self-centered goals:
There is a certain knack to storytelling; the kind where people hang on your words and prompt you to continue when you get distracted. For some, this is natural; knowing where to pause in a moment within the story to build tension or milk the humor, how to build background knowledge for an audience without losing steam, how to make someone feel something, and I would say (this is certainly up for debate) that I am one of those people.
I’m really good at telling stories. I’m not going to downplay that. Everyone has a talent, and storytelling is mine. I love bringing enjoyment to others through what I write. I love it. I’m addicted to the feeling I get when I see someone laugh out loud while reading a piece of mine. It’s like an affirmation of not only my ability as a writer, but also in the fact that I am a human being whose words can touch and brighten the things around them. That’s pretty special.
Plus, I write in large part because I love attention. Like, a lot.
I enjoy telling stories not only because it can change minds and drive humanity forward, but also because I like feeling accomplished and then bringing that to others to keep it going. So sue me. I just love preening while others compliment me.
Like, look at this ridiculous person.
I had two small publications last year and the first thing I did with either was take them to Facebook to brag. I had a great time both nights, checking in every half hour or so as the “likes” and congratulations rolled in.
In my eyes, there is nothing wrong with that. Facebook is a platform made for sharing accomplishments with those in your life. Where it differs from simply taking my successes to friends and family members when things go right though, is that hearing this positive feedback is a huge motivator for me.
Here is a good example of this: this (heavily edited) screenshot is from the (highly embarrassing) fanfiction account I kept in middle school. While I never want to think too hard about this portion of my pubescent life, I can’t deny that it was one of the most affirming times in my life when it came to writing.
See that circled number? There are 692 reviews on a single story that I penned at 14. It is the longest thing I have ever written to date and the hundreds of encouraging bits of feedback I received on it kept me writing for months. While I had started writing these pieces as an outlet for fantasies that I couldn’t live out in my own life, the reviews and acclaim the fellow fans gave me pushed me on and convinced me not to drop the project halfway through; I lived for those reviews.
However…
While those reviews and Facebook comments and the positive reactions from people I share my work with are incredibly gratifying, I do still keep myself writing more private things while dreaming about the future; for me and anyone I effect.
I don’t just want talk show interviews and NPR plugs; I want to affect readers on a personal level. I dream of writing lines that make someone put down what they’re reading and walk away for a minute because they can’t believe someone said something so perfectly and they have to go digest it some and tweet it and plan a new tattoo around the words. I want to put things in a way that readers wish they’d put the same thought into the same words in exactly the same way because it was just that good.
Just as the authors I grew up with left stamps on my mind and heart, I want to do the same for future readers. I hope that someday the things that I can share with others can become their lifelines the way that books were for me when I was younger.
I would be even happier if I could also be someone’s foothold to a larger stage. Being a mediator for the marginalized is a powerful prospect. Writing is a powerful gift that was meant to be shared and used for the betterment of others. The idea that I can have an impact and make a difference on an individual or society itself keeps me writing.
If I play my cards right, this could not only be my legacy, but also others’-- recording narratives of our age that are relatable and timeless and important is what I have set out to do; because what are stories but history, in the long run.
So, what? What are you even getting at?I made an interesting typo while titling this document; rather than writing, “Why I Write,” as I had intended, it became “Why I Wrote,” and I had to stop and think about that for a moment. Had I gone with the latter of these two tenses, would the content have been different? I thought about that a lot as I wrote this piece, the ways that my motivations have changed over the years, but in the end I suppose it didn’t matter.
I write because of what I have experienced. I write because of what I want. I write because of what I can imagine.
Writing, for me, is about the past, present, and, most importantly, the future. While stories are made of and become history itself, the act of writing, for me, is one that looks forward.